The Greatest Headlines Ever Written

It’s a very cluttered marketplace. Consumers are literally bombarded every day with thousands of advertising messages, so they must be able to “filter” out those that are irrelevant or risk overload.

Given this, how can you be sure that your message is one that makes it past their target audiences’ sieve?

For starters, you’ll need a great headline. Studies have concluded time and again that your headlines are the single most important aspect of your marketing communication. You have a fraction of a second to grab the attentions of your prospect so they’ll continue listening, watching or reading your marketing message.

Below is a partial list of some of the world’s best headlines… at least in my opinion. See which ones you like best or if you can use them as a template for your own marketing communication.

  • The Secret of Making People Like You.
  • A Little Mistake That Cost A Farmer $3,000 A Year.
  • Advice To Wives Whose Husbands Don’t Save Money: Buy A Wife.
  • The Child Who Won The Hearts Of All.
  • Are You Ever Tongue-Tied At A Party?
  • How A New Discovery Made A Plain Girl Beautiful.
  • The Last 2 Hours Are The Longest – And Those Are The 2 Hours You Save.
  • Who Else Wants A Screen Star Figure?
  • Do You Make These Mistakes In English?
  • Why Some Foods “Explode” In Your Stomach.
  • Hands That Look Lovelier In 24 Hours – Or Your Money Back.
  • You Can Laugh At Money Worries – If You Follow This Simple Plan.
  • Why Some People Almost Always Make Money In The Stock Market.
  • When Doctors “Feel Rotten” This Is What They Do.
  • It Seems Incredible That You Can Offer These Signed Original Etchings – For Only $5.00 Each.
  • Five Familiar Skin Troubles – Which Do You Want To Overcome?
  • Which Of These $2.50 to $5.00 Best Sellers Do You Want For Only $1.00 Each?
  • Who Ever Heard Of A Woman Losing Weight – And Enjoying 3 Delicious Meals At The Same Time?
  • How I Improved My Memory In One Evening.
  • Discover The Fortune That Lies Hidden In Your Salary.
  • Doctors Prove 2 Out Of 3 Women Can Have More Beautiful Skin In 14 Days.
  • How I Made A Fortune With A “Fool Idea”.
  • How Often Do You Hear Yourself Saying: “No, I Haven’t Read It: I’ve Been Meaning To!”
  • Thousands Have This Priceless Gift – But Never Discover It!
  • Whose Fault When Children Disobey?
  • How A “Fool Stunt” Made Me A Star Salesman.
  • Have You These Symptoms Of Nerve Exhaustion?
  • Guaranteed To Go Through Ice, Mud or Snow – Or We Pay The Tow!
  • Have You A “Worry” Stock?
  • How A New Kind Of Clay Improved My Complexion In 30 Minutes.
  • 161 New Ways To A Man’s Heart – In This Fascinating Book For Cooks.
  • Profits That Lie Hidden In Your Farm.
  • Is The Life OF A Child Worth $1 To You?
  • Everywhere Women Are Raving About This Amazing New Shampoo.
  • Do You Do Any Of These Ten Embarrassing Things?
  • Six Types Of Investors – Which Group Are You In?
  • How To Take Out Stains… Use (Product Name) And Follow These Easy Directions.
  • Today… Add $10,000 To Your Estate – For The Price Of A New Hat.
  • Does Your Child Ever Embarrass You?
  • Is Your Home Picture-Poor?
  • How To Give Your Children Extra Iron – These 3 Delicious Ways.
  • To People Who Want To Write – But Can’t Get Started.
  • This Almost-Magical Lamp Lights Highway Turns Before You Make Them.
  • The Crimes We Commit Against Our Stomachs.
  • The Man With The “Grasshopper Mind”
  • They Laughed When I Sat Down At The Piano – But Then I Started To Play.
  • Throw Away Your Oars.
  • How To Do Wonders With A Little Land.
  • Who Else Wants Lighter Cake – In Half The Mixing Time!
  • Little Leaks That Keep Men Poor.
  • Pierced By 301 Nails… Retains Full Air Pressure.
  • No More Backbreaking Garden Chores For Me – Yet Ours Is Now The Showplace Of The Neighborhood.
  • Often A Bridesmaid, Never A Bride.
  • How Much Is “Working Tension” Costing Your Company?
  • To Men Who Want To Quit Work Someday.
  • How To Plan Your House To Suit Yourself.
  • Buy No Desk – Until You’ve Seen This Sensation Of A Business Show.
  • I Lost My Bulges – And Saved Money Too.
  • Why (Brand Name) Bulbs Give More Light This Year.
  • Right And Wrong Farming Methods – And Little Pointers That Will Increase Your Profits.
  • New Cake-Improver Gets You Compliments Galore!
  • Imagine Me – Holding An Audience Spellbound For 30 Minutes.
  • Did You Ever See A “Telegram” From Your Heart?
  • New Shampoo Leaves Your Hair Smoother – Easier To Manage.
  • It’s A Shame For You To Not Make Good Money – When These Men Do It So Easily.
  • You Never Saw Such Letters As Harry And I Got About Our Pears.
  • Thousands Now Play Who Never THought They Could.
  • Great New Discovery Kills Kitchen Odors Quick! – Makes Indoor Air “Country Fresh”
  • Take This 1-Minute Test – Of An Amazing New Kind Of Shaving Cream.
  • Announcing… The New Edition Of The Encyclopedia That Makes It Fun To Learn Things.
  • For the Woman Who Is Older Than She Looks.
  • Here’s A Quick Way To Break Up A Cold.
  • If You Were Given $200,000 To Spend – Isn’t This The Kind Of (Type of Product, But Not Brand Name) You Would Build?
  • 67 Reasons Why I Would Have Paid You To Answer Our Ad A Few Months Ago.
  • Suppose This Happened On Your Wedding Day.
  • Are They Being Promoted Right Over Your Head?
  • What Everybody Ought To Know – About This Stock and Bond Business.
  • Money-Saving Bargains From America’s Oldest Diamond Discount House.
  • Former Barber Earns $8,000 In 4 Months As A Real Estate Specialist.
  • Free Book – Tells You 12 Secrets Of Better Lawn Care.
  • Greatest Gold-Mine of Easy “Things To Make” Ever Crammed Into One Big Book.
  • Own Florida Land This Easy Way… $10 Down And $10 A Month.
  • Take Any 3 Of These Kitchen Appliances – For Only $8.95 (Values Up To $15.45).
  • Save 20 Cents On 2 Cans Of Cranberry Sauce – Limited Offer.
  • One Place-Setting Free For Every Three You Buy.
  • Using A Lawyer May Be Dangerous To Your Wealth.
  • The People Who Read This Book Will End Up With Your Money.
  • The Truth About Getting Rich.
  • Own A Business Of Your Choice Without Investing 1 Cent.
  • How To Make A Fortune Today Starting From Scratch.
  • The Secret To Being Wealthy.
  • Dare To Be Rich.
  • A Startling Fact About Money.
  • How To Discover What You Are Really Good At.
  • The Most Expensive Mistake Of Your Life.
  • How To Write A Business Letter.
  • 7 Ways To Collect Your Unpaid Bills.
  • How To Start From “Scratch” And Become A PO Box Millionaire.
  • Need More Money?
  • Want To Be A Legal Investigator?

While you may view some of these as “dated,” they are truly classics. The words matter less than the feelings and curiosity they evoke. Did you find yourself wanting to learn more? If so, remember your answer as you create your own headlines.

Syndication Permissions: If you’d like to use this article on your website or blog, you have our permission as long as you do not alter it in any way and you agree to include the following byline at the end of the article keeping active links back to this site, intact

Mary Eule Scarborough, an unassailable marketing expert and thought leader, helps businesses of all sizes get and keep more profitable customers. She is also:

  • A former Fortune 500 marketing executive, …
  • The founder of two successful small businesses, …
  • An award-winning speaker, …
  • A Certified Guerrilla Marketing coach, and …
  • Co-author of three books (to-date): “The Procrastinator’s Guide to Marketing“, (Entrepreneur Press, November, 2007), “Mastering Online Marketing” (Entrepreneur Press, January, 2008), and “Guerrilla Marketing On The Internet” (Entrepreneur Press, July, 2008).
  • Qualified with a BA in Journalism / English from the University of Maryland, and …
  • Qualified with a Masters degree in marketing from The Johns Hopkins University.

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